Life has been…..unhealthy.

I didn’t even bother looking at when I last posted because I know it has been a long while. Life in Dallas has been interesting. I never particularly loved the DFW area, and I took a chance moving here, but haven’t been very happy. My depression and anxiety have gone through the roof, and the number of panic attacks I have had has gone up 15x over the previous 3 years. I know some of the cause, but as it is not an easy fix, I am having to learn how to deal with all 3 of those things to keep myself from going off the deep end.

If you know me, you know I don’t like doctors. I don’t like being given medicine to fix myself. I don’t like talking through what’s bugging me. I really don’t like that I can’t fix myself on my own. I have turned to meditating. Which ended up just turning into me hiding in my apartment every weekend to decompress from the world.

Was moving here worth what I am currently battling? In some ways, yes. In a lot more ways, HELL NO.

Do I regret my choice? Almost every day. But it was exactly that: my choice. So I have to deal with the fallout.